Monday, July 27, 2009

You are wronged, you are in the right. Now apologize

I was struck by Robin Wells' piece in the Huffington Post today, on the Skip Gates affair, that this is something that LOML and I are facing every day.

Wells makes the case that Gates missed the opportunity to be the bigger person, to sit down the police officer who he thought was mistreating him, to speak calmly instead of getting mad, to reason rather than argue, and to quietly explain instead of shouting.
Now, other than the fact that Gates was just back from a long trip, and may have had tiredness getting in the way, it reminded me of the conversations I have almost daily with Boo and Skibo, trying to persuade each of them that, yes, they may have been wronged by their sibling, but wouldn't it be better if they didn't escalate the situation? Wouldn't they like to be the better person for once, and be kind and nice in the face of sibling meanness?

It's not worked yet. And I can see why it didn't in Cambridge, Mass, a week or so ago.

And unfortunately, it seems to me that Obama's "come sit down and talk over a beer" has the risk of being as effective as our attempts to get Boo and Skibo to hug and make up.

Yours, hoping for reconciliation,
N.

2 comments:

Gardengirl said...

Hadn't thought about it like this ...
can we give them beer?

Alice said...

Hmm, I really like this perspective. So often the lessons we (try to) give to children are the same ones it would behoove adults to know as well...

The night before the "beer summit" I woke up nervous for all parties involved! Must stop reading the news so much I guess...